1-6-2018
Moving ahead with life.
A person can benefit greatly from a longer view. Knowing now just how long consequences can last. I feel more compelled to plan projects and forecast needs with consequences in mind. Due deligence.
Here is this year's project. The Oven of My Dreams. Artsustain presents your neighborhood horno: Bake bread, cook in mass protein or vegetable resources for future use. Appointments available through social media, email or locals can call. Like us on Facebook for further details.
Love food but so want a new way to enjoy it? I used to cook for a restaurant that could roast huge pans of boneless chicken, bake it's own flat bread in mass for its sandwiches, and as sides to soup made from scratch and fresh washed chopped romaine heads for salad. The most fresh ingredients prepared for broad use. Food prep would begin a couple of hours before lunch. Prep cooks roast red peppers and eggplant for use in recipes for the daily cooking in some way prepared in this huge wonderful earth oven. I had the pleasure of building an horno and seeing it used at the Coloraod State Fair when I was in college. After working with an horno (say "orno")in a successful restaurant, I have wanted to build one ever since.
Although the wood oven is huge and needs mindful tending, I see now how efficient the focus was in that restaurant and playing in the fire was fun. I know how to get a cook fire going with out much tending as long as your wood is dry. I feel there are elements of that commercial experience could work in residential food preparation.
Cooking with a group of people for a common goal can be a fun event. Plan uses for food cooked en mass. Promoting "gang" cooking where a group prepares simple delicious flexible food packaged for use in the future. I am going to explore my latest Laura Ingalls Wilder's book for ideas for future sustainable projects. If only Laura had the use of a freezer. Holding food properly is key. I want to promote simple meal planning for better spending habits, food variety, and better refuse disposal. Most of all plan for better health and food security.
My first step is building the oven. The rest will come. Details to follow.
Saturday, January 6, 2018
Friday, January 5, 2018
So Over It. My Line In The Sand.
Bored. So over my sad, tragic back story.
I understand how this whole crummy story happened. Like so many other sad stories it comes down to someone else's lies, a horrible divorce and crazy situations in my family. Then there my life choices. The lies, parental divorce, and prior psycho drama I lay the blame at the feet of my mother. While I have sympathy for her sad story, she is not let off the hook. My mother's inabilities as a human being and a mother has been felt by me, many family members, and my siblings. But let's scale it back a bit. It's not my mother's story. It is mine.
Once upon a time there was this prideful Missouri farmer born in the 19th century who became an over controlling father of three girls in the 1920's. The middle daughter became an over controlling mother then a grandmother. Her daughter grew up to be a scared crazy mother of a scared anxious daughter that resulted in another sad complicated childhood story. Thanks folks; I'll take it from here. It is time to draw a line through it and get on with the happier grown up story. I need to see past the back story. It truly is past, but how to make me feel it. I have had the real pleasure of living as I choose for the last 12 years. Inside my consciousness it feels like it is still becoming.
This life began when I consciously stopped running from the many types of pain in my past. I live in beauty and make myself look very hard at it's source. Pleasure rarely appears without pain. Being depressed is like getting scheduled torture. A depressed mind has a ready supply of ways to distract, complicate and under-achieve. Any real recognition of goals and desires tends to bring out the demons and gremlins. Add in a few natural complications like achieving them is a problem: "Oh no...the inappropriate shame of it all, getting exactly what I wanted. And now the world revolves around me. Such a scary vulnerable feeling. My mother had assured me many times as a child this just was not the case at all.....because silly girl, it revolved around her.
My life has worked out. I see me and my husband making this life for us. Unfortunately this can be problematic for my little girl issues. They don't just fizzle away when I see hard evidence of our achievement everywhere. This has taken up so much of my time. It is confusing why I still have these episodes of low self esteem. Why must there be the return of rotten little girl hurts and periods of difficulty?
Short, trite answer is: The afflicted mind has a hard time living it's own dream. Time to learn. Time to move on and live in the light of the dream.
I understand how this whole crummy story happened. Like so many other sad stories it comes down to someone else's lies, a horrible divorce and crazy situations in my family. Then there my life choices. The lies, parental divorce, and prior psycho drama I lay the blame at the feet of my mother. While I have sympathy for her sad story, she is not let off the hook. My mother's inabilities as a human being and a mother has been felt by me, many family members, and my siblings. But let's scale it back a bit. It's not my mother's story. It is mine.
Once upon a time there was this prideful Missouri farmer born in the 19th century who became an over controlling father of three girls in the 1920's. The middle daughter became an over controlling mother then a grandmother. Her daughter grew up to be a scared crazy mother of a scared anxious daughter that resulted in another sad complicated childhood story. Thanks folks; I'll take it from here. It is time to draw a line through it and get on with the happier grown up story. I need to see past the back story. It truly is past, but how to make me feel it. I have had the real pleasure of living as I choose for the last 12 years. Inside my consciousness it feels like it is still becoming.
This life began when I consciously stopped running from the many types of pain in my past. I live in beauty and make myself look very hard at it's source. Pleasure rarely appears without pain. Being depressed is like getting scheduled torture. A depressed mind has a ready supply of ways to distract, complicate and under-achieve. Any real recognition of goals and desires tends to bring out the demons and gremlins. Add in a few natural complications like achieving them is a problem: "Oh no...the inappropriate shame of it all, getting exactly what I wanted. And now the world revolves around me. Such a scary vulnerable feeling. My mother had assured me many times as a child this just was not the case at all.....because silly girl, it revolved around her.
My life has worked out. I see me and my husband making this life for us. Unfortunately this can be problematic for my little girl issues. They don't just fizzle away when I see hard evidence of our achievement everywhere. This has taken up so much of my time. It is confusing why I still have these episodes of low self esteem. Why must there be the return of rotten little girl hurts and periods of difficulty?
Short, trite answer is: The afflicted mind has a hard time living it's own dream. Time to learn. Time to move on and live in the light of the dream.
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